Twenty Random Things You May Not Have Known About Me

1. My first child was born on Guam. People often ask her if she's a naturalized citizen. (Guam has been an American territory since the Spanish-American War, FYI.)

2. I never went to a high school prom. However, I went on to live a normal life anyway.

3. When I was 14 I had a boyfriend, the only one I had in high school, and we went together for a year and then I lost track of him after we broke up. He later earned a PhD in human sexuality. I think that’s hilarious.

4. I’m a bit Monk-ish. (Monk was my favorite TV show; not long after it went off the air I gave up watching TV.) I LIKE having a place for everything and everything it in its place; however, unlike Monk, I don’t fall apart when it almost never is.

5. My feet are short and wide, making it impossible to go into a regular shoe store and find something that fits, other than a box. To complicate matters, one of my feet is size 6 1/2 and the other is size 7.

6. I love word games and jigsaw puzzles. It's probably a manifestation of my Monkishness because it's where order and organization can be found. I have discovered a lot of people feel the same way but are reluctant to come out of the closet and admit it unless someone else brings it up first. Why is it such a bad thing?

7. I taught creative writing for Snow College outreach for nine years, but I only had an inconsequential little BA, and when the People In Charge decided to compete in the big leagues, they refused to grandfather in a longstanding successful class because I didn't have an MA. At that point I had nothing to prove; ironically, many of my students were taking the class to get their masters degrees. I focused on poetry, drama, essays and novels, and a lot of my students later told me that as teachers they often referred to the things they learned in my class. To my knowledge, creative writing has never been taught in Richfield since my last class.

8. It's from ancient history (2008) but I'm still waiting for someone to explain this to me: “We are the change we’ve been waiting for.” Does that actually make sense to anyone? I see what it PRETENDS to mean, but that doesn't compute in my mind. It’s total, pretentious baloney masquerading as a clever, insightful aphorism.

9. I used to be a TV news junkie but my blood pressure got too high. Now I go online to select news sources that speak my language and philosophy.

10. Chocolate is my favorite indulgence.

11. How did I get along in the world before the internet? It's where I buy shoes, in case you were wondering, and I have been known to do ALL my Christmas shopping online.

12. I have the most wonderful husband in the world.

13. My total, complete, unequivocal most favorite place on earth in the Oregon coast, and beachcombing is my favorite pastime. August and September are the best times to go there.

14. I got my first cell phone on January 20, 2009. Now I don't know what I'd do without it.

15. Music and art are two of my great passions, even though I know little to nothing about them. They speak to my soul and that compels me to learn more. 

16. I have many nicknames, and daughter #2 is always making up new ones. When she got married, her Intended--the respectful soul that he is--asked what name I'd prefer he used, and I said, "Well, Chickie Babe would probably not be appropriate." My original name is Pamela Gay Stott, but I have also been known as Pammie, Pammie-wammie, Stottie-wottie, Pamalia, Miss Pam, Momster, Palmolive, Pamalamadingdong, Mommie, and GramPam. My kids often refer to me as The Pamster, and there are many permutations surfacing all the time. (By the way, hubby is sometimes known as Rogerbil--he and I are the cuddly little pets in the family.) When I was in high school, some of my sillier friends started calling each other by our names spelled backward. For a while I was Alemap Yag, or one of its many variations.

17. I love puns. Once when I was in college I lived in an attic apartment with three other girls, and with all the odd ceiling angles in the place it was hard to decorate and personalize. One day I came home to find my roommates sitting at the table enjoying apples and peanut butter (our favorite snack) and grinning with anticipation to see my reaction when I noticed the bigger-than-life-size poster of their favorite male Russian ballet dancer someone had mounted on the wall/ceiling. I looked at their giddy faces and sniffed with mock disgust, “Well, you’ve got your Nureyev.” They exploded in laughter that went on for ten minutes. It was one of my greater linguistic triumphs.

18. I have serious acrophobia as I get older. (Roger calls it ‘high-drophobia.’) Even in my dreams, if I’m going down stairs, the stairs gradually become steeper until they’re like a ladder, but I'm facing the wrong direction and I can't hang on, so I fall. But I don’t mind having a window seat in an airplane; in fact, I love flying into Portland and seeing Mt. Hood as we approach the airport.

19. If I were a Winnie the Pooh character, I’d be Pooh. I love honey and I’m afraid of heffalumps and woozles. Okay, and I'm also stuffed with fluff. Don't push it.

20. I love making people laugh, but I prefer to do it deliberately with wit rather than with pratfalls.