Friday, December 7, 2012

Holiday Weight Control Tips

Let's say--theoretically, of course--that it's just after the holidays and you've got a doctor's appointment at which you'll have to face the music and step on the scales. Here are the top ten things you can do  to make the best of it:

10. Remember to step out of your shoes (no socks, of course), empty your pockets and take off your glasses.

9. Go without breakfast, or lunch.

8. Take diuretics the night before, eat plenty of cucumbers, celery and tomato juice, and insist on a potty break just before you step on the scales.

7. Clip your fingernails right down to the nubs, but not far enough to bleed because then you'll have to wear a bandage and that can tip the scales the wrong way.

6. Trim your hair; consider a buzz cut. (Come on, girls. Hair grows back.)

5. Total body depilatory.

4. Pedicure to rid you of that unwanted dead skin from the calluses on feet and ankles.

3. Wear summer-weight clothes, as few as possible, and no jewelry.

2. Bikini underwear.

1. One word: laxatives. Consider a colonoscopy prep.

I'm not promising complete success, but at least you will know when you follow these steps that have done your best.

2 comments:

jww said...

You are so silly!!!!!

Donna K. Weaver said...

Oh, my heck! You made me lol.